Dave Wickersham
1935 – 2025
Dave Wickersham passed away on February 3, 2025, four months shy of his 90th birthday, after a hard fought battle with RSV pneumonia. His two daughters, Margo and Tracey, were with him, holding his hands, in the hospital when he died. He was a loving husband, a devoted dad, and a real character. He is deeply missed.
Dad was born in New York City in 1935, and spent the first months of his life in an orphanage. He was adopted at around 9 months old by Harold and Mary Lou Wickersham, who were delighted to add this beautiful baby boy to their family. Dad joined his parents and his older sister Betty, and the family soon settled in southern California, where dad spent the majority of his youth. Dad had a happy and active childhood, with horses, his beloved dogs, and lots of outdoor activities. The family briefly relocated back to Holyoke, Massachusetts to care for his ailing maternal grandmother, and while they were there, dad’s sister died tragically and suddenly of an undiagnosed aneurysm. The family returned to California, and dad went to Covina High School, where he fell for a smart, kind and beautiful young woman named Esther.
Dad started college but wasn’t applying himself so in a somewhat questionable parenting move, his folks decided an extended trip around Europe and North Africa with a buddy was the prescription to get him back on track. In what we might describe today as “putting a ring on it,” dad proposed to the lovely Esther and she said yes, even as he packed his bags and hit the road (aka oceanliner). Esther and Dave exchanged many letters over the coming months, which remain in a ribbon–tied box. Some day perhaps we’ll read them, but not yet. We’ve grown up hearing at least some of the tales of that adventure, and gently reminding dad that a lot of things have changed in Europe since the 1950s.
Esther and Dave got married in March 1956. Dad returned to college at the University of Redlands, and after graduation, the couple settled in West Covina,CA, buying their first house and welcoming daughter Margo in 1959. Daughter Tracey followed four years later. Things were different in those days, and dad was not allowed to be in the room for either of our births, but he proudly told anyone who’d listen that their “modern” doctor allowed dad to stand in a doorway and watch Tracey being born by way of some strategically placed mirrors.
Dad worked briefly as an LAPD police officer, something he remained very proud of, but his career was in education. He received his Masters in Education from Whittier College, and did additional post graduate work at Claremont Graduate School, UCLA and the University of Washington. He taught English and Social Studies at Glendale High School, taught Literature, English and History at Citrus College, and became the Vice Principal for Goddard Junior High in Glendora, CA.
In 1968, Dave and Esther moved their young family from Los Angeles to Enumclaw, Washington, with a population of less than 5000 at the time. This was, no doubt, a bold move. Dad was offered the Vice Principal job at Enumclaw High School, and mom and dad were excited about moving to a more rural area with less pollution, more nature, and a perceived better quality of life, even though it meant leaving a large and close-knit extended family behind. It also meant leaving easy access to a small family cabin compound in Joshua Tree, where dad, his parents, and then his young family spent many happy times.
Mom and dad bought property at the foot of Mount Peak and built the home where our family would live until the kids left for college and beyond, and mom & dad moved to another community after retirement. Dad became the Principal of Enumclaw High School in 1971. In another case of questionable timing (for his daughters at least), Dad waited until both daughters were out of high school before deciding that he would be happier in a different role with younger students – and he shifted to Principal of JJ Smith Elementary School, and then Principal of the K-8 school in small nearby community Black Diamond, until he retired in 1993. He later used this as a lesson for his daughters about work and careers and the importance of doing something you love and not necessarily pursuing something just because it appears to be a promotion or more prestigious.
Mom and dad moved to Port Hadlock, Washington, about 20 minutes outside Port Townsend on the Olympic Peninsula, and built their retirement home on a multi-acre lot with stunning mountain and water views. They enjoyed their boat “Le Bob” and were active members of the local yacht club. They took advantage of concerts and cultural offerings, and traveled to many destinations across the US and Canada. Both kept active caring for their land, and dad took special pride in keeping his many bird feeders stocked so he could watch the activity from the breakfast table. He also became proficient at managing his investments and took great pleasure in always learning and keeping up on financial news. For many years they hosted an annual summer party when they invited their many friends and former colleagues from Enumclaw to come gather.
They welcomed their grandchild Riley in 1994 and loved him immensely.
Mom’s health and memory began to decline in recent years and dad had to take on new roles of caregiving. His love and support of mom enabled her to achieve her goal of staying at home and not having to move to a care community. This was not easy in their relatively remote area, and dad worked really hard to care for our mom. She died in March of 2022, three days after their 66th wedding anniversary.
Dad recognized the need to be closer to his kids and moved to the Quail Park retirement community in Lynnwood in summer of 2022. While he never quite adjusted to everything about “city living” he proved remarkably resilient and integrated himself into his new community, serving on numerous committees and making friends. We’ve heard that his funny stories and love of bad jokes kept the dining tables laughing. We got to see him more, and build a new relationship with him in this new chapter. His apartment was furnished with favorite things from home, and almost every flat surface held a framed portrait of our mom. He missed her so much.
Dad was a competitive track athlete in high school and college, and even though he did not maintain that level of fitness later in life, he was strong and stubborn. We saw that fighter come out in him as a two time cancer survivor, and in facing several health challenges he navigated in the last couple years. When he got sick with RSV, he tried really hard to recover, and surprised us on many occasions with his will to keep fighting, but after almost a month in the hospital, he just couldn’t overcome the damage to his lungs.
Dad is survived by his daughters Margo Bykonen and Tracey Wickersham, and his sons-in-law Tom Bykonen and Stephen Marcus, his grandson and granddaughter- in- law Riley and Halee (Ross) Bykonen, and his great grandson Jack. We will remember dad always for his devoted love of his wife and family; his support for animal welfare and environmental organizations; his hilarious turns of phrase that weren’t quite like anyone else, his love of butterscotch anything, and his unique self. He was a passionate jazz music listener, with a large LP collection that eventually morphed into a huge curated Spotify library. He dabbled in playing the saxophone as an adult with let’s say more enthusiasm than raw talent. Tracey says that a favorite description of dad comes from her close friend /roommate from college years, who spent many holidays with our family. He said; “Your dad was hilarious – both intentionally and unintentionally.” Yes, he was.
Dad used to say to just bury him in a pine box when his time came–he wasn’t a fan of all the trappings of the traditional funeral. Shortly before he got sick, he read an article in the Seattle Times about the relatively new eco-friendly death practice known as terramation, or human soil reduction, aka human composting. He chose this method for himself, and made his wishes known to us. We chose to work with Recompose, in part because of their partnership with land reclamation projects, where dad’s soil will be used to support the regeneration of wildlife and natural ecosystems, which he would be very happy about.
We’ll be having a friends and family remembrance celebration in early June. Please contact Tracey or Margo for details. We love you forever dad.