Thomas Darwin Kaupe

May 23, 1967 – May 28, 2026

Thomas (Tom) Darwin Kaupe, 59, passed away while in the company of many dear friends and family on 28 May 2026 in Seattle Washington after valiantly battling stage 4 cancer for over a year.

Tom was born 23 May 1967 in Plum Borough, a suburb of Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, to Dorothy Linea Kaupe (nee Riley) and Arthur Friedrich Kaupe Jr. Tom was the youngest of 5 children, of whom, he liked to say, the first 4 were prototypes for which he was the perfected product … an example of his characteristic wit & humor.

After an interlude in Waco Texas for kindergarten and almost 3 years of elementary school, Tom completed his grade school education in San Diego California, just outside Lemon Grove. After completing the 3rd grade, the school district realized Tom’s exceptional intelligence by skipping him to the 5th grade. Tom always regretted that move, which denied him the company of his peers and instead tossed him into the pool of larger more mature kids. That was a socially stigmatizing experience, which he ultimately overcame in aces! Tom graduated from Mount Miguel High School in 1984, and was awarded a certificate of outstanding achievement in The Atlantic Pacific Mathematics League.

As there was a significant gap in age between Tom and his siblings, and his parents were divorced, Tom had a rather solitary youth, and not much of a family life. In later years, he more than made up for that deficit by building many close friendships and becoming a beloved member of several families.

Tom attended the University of California San Diego (UCSD) from fall 1986 to spring 1992 from which he graduated with a BA in Mathematics, minors in Philosophy and Anthropology, and a 3.68 GPA. Before and during his college years, Tom worked a plethora of jobs to pay his way through school. Starting with Der Wienerschnitzel, he moved on to a high end restaurant, a gas station, a couple deli/liquor stores, a pool supply company, a couple shipping/logistics companies, and an electronics manufacturer. In later years, he relied more on student loans and UCSD campus jobs.

After graduating from UCSD, with a great GPA and a perfect GRE Quantitative Reasoning score of 800, Tom moved to Seattle in the fall of 1992 for graduate studies at the University of Washington. Thanks to having a Teaching Assistantship (TA) position, it was no longer necessary for him to take on part-time jobs to survive. By the spring of 1995, Tom had earned a 3.85 GPA and was awarded an MS in Mathematics.

During his college years, Tom’s professional objective was to teach mathematics, and so, after completing his graduate studies, he took a position as a Mathematics instructor at the Shoreline Community College near Seattle from 1995 until 2000. However, the lure of interesting and lucrative work in the Seattle technology scene eventually tempted him away from teaching. Tom worked at a number of startup companies, and eventually took a position at Microsoft where he had worked since 2008.

Though Tom’s academic and professional accomplishments are exemplary, they are the lesser of his achievements when measured against the indelible impact he had on the lives of his many close and dear friends. Somehow, the socially stigmatized boy blossomed into a caring social butterfly who touched many lives through his thoughtfulness, kindness, and love. It was Tom’s spirited and uninhibited humor, and quick wit that drew so many people to him, adults and kids. As those who had the pleasure of knowing him can attest, Tom exuded a fun lighthearted love of life. Although an exuberant personality, to those who got to know him, Tom felt safe and approachable, easy to befriend, lock elbows with, and share moments of silliness or grief. Tom was the comfortable shoulder upon which one could share their troubles … or be supremely goofy.

One of Tom’s great pleasures was participating in the lives of his friend’s children. Those children adored him. For whatever reason, Tom was not destined to be a father. Still he loved children and yearned for family life. Tom became a beloved member in a several families with kids; where he could experience, enhance, and participate in the kind of family life that he missed in his own childhood.

Tom was a lover of nature, a traveller, an adventurer and an inquirer; he was always curious. He engaged in water sports, snow sports, other forms of athletics, and was an avid hiker. Tom also enjoyed watching professional sports on TV and live, and was a fan of the Seattle and Pittsburgh sports teams. He often travelled to other cities to attend baseball and football games, and tennis matches, to see the sights, and to experience the local food culture. One of his bucket list items was to attend a baseball game in every major league ballpark. Tom visited many locations including Belize, Finland, Netherlands, Denmark, Portugal, Spain, Japan, India, Canada, Mexico and Hawaii … sometimes alone, sometimes for work, but often with friends. Most of all, Tom loved scuba diving and frequented the coral reefs of Honduras where he found great peace in the solitude and sanctity of the underwater world. As disease was taking control of his body, Tom’s last wish was to travel with his close friend-group and their children to Honduras where some could scuba dive, and all could socialize and share in the beauty of life and the environment.

Tom lived a full life with gusto, and enriched the lives of the many who were fortunate to know him. He will be sorely missed.

Tom is survived by his siblings: Alan Kaupe of San Diego California, Stephen Kaupe of Atlanta Georgia, Mary Witalec of Brighton Michigan, and Arthur Kaupe of Rockville Maryland. Thomas is also survived by his children in spirit with whom he participated in every step of their new lives: Reverie Israel the daughter of his dear friends Amber and More Israel; and Maxton Burcescu the son of his dear friend Maranda Burcescu.

As was his mother and others in his friend and family circles, Tom was a humanist* in belief and spirit.

A private secular ceremony will be held at the Recompose Green Funeral Home, a setting that reflects Tom’s commitment to natural harmony and ecological values. It was Tom’s wish to undergo human composting whereby he returns to the earth to fertilize new life.

To those who wish to honor Tom’s memory with a gift, please consider giving to, or otherwise supporting, any of the following types of organizations for which he was passionate: nature conservancy, animal welfare, ending family homelessness, and the arts.

*A humanist is a person who subscribes to humanism, an ethical and philosophical worldview that centers on human reason, compassion, and the enrichment of life in the here and now. Rather than relying on dogma, superstition, or supernatural beliefs, humanists look to science and critical inquiry to understand the world and solve problems.