How to Approach a Potential Designated Agent

The template below is designed for Precompose members who are working to designate an agent to be responsible for carrying out their end-of-life wishes. This template can serve as a starting point for a letter, email, or live conversation. We recommend copying the below and pasting it into an email or document, then modifying the template as you’d like to personalize your letter either to the person or to your own specific wishes.

Letter Template

Hello [potential agent’s name],

I’m writing about an important subject I want to discuss with you. I’m approaching you because I respect and value you, and I trust you to respect me and my choices.

This conversation will deal in concepts that may be challenging to think about, including death. If this topic doesn’t feel okay for you right now, please take your time and come back to this when you’re ready.

I want to talk to you about my wishes for after I die. It’s an understandable tendency to limit the amount of time we spend thinking about death, but making decisions about one’s death care can be empowering. I find peace-of-mind in knowing I’ve made death care decisions which align with how I’ve lived my life. And getting organized now allows me to make a future challenging time easier for my friends and family.

I’m writing to see if you would be willing to act as my legal designated agent. This role means you will be responsible for ensuring my end-of-life wishes are followed after my death. If you agree, I will name you on a legal document known as my Designated Agent for Funeral Agreements form. I will also share information with you regarding the arrangements I’ve made and my wishes for my death.

I’ve chosen a company called Recompose to handle my death care. When I die, Recompose will steward my body through a process called natural organic reduction, which will gently convert my body into soil. I’ve chosen this process because it’s good for the planet and meaningful for me on a personal level. If you agree to act as my agent, Recompose will work with you to make sure my wishes for my death care are followed with respect and empathy.

If you are open to considering this request, this article on What to Know as a Designated Agent explains the responsibilities involved. If you agree to act as my agent, I will add your name to my Designated Agent for Funeral Agreements form. You can see a sample version of what is included in that form here. Once I have named you as my agent, I will share a copy of the form as well as any documents and instructions you will need to execute my wishes upon my death.

Thank you for considering this request. I’d be honored to have a person I trust so much to manage my end-of-life wishes. I know this may be a tough request, and I promise to accept a yes or no answer with grace.

Sincerely,

[Your name]